T’was during one of the most difficult times in my life that I discovered something about myself that, if not for that moment, that experience, that encounter, I quite possibly never wouldis it?” you ask? Well, pretty simply put, I would have to take you back to the beginning. My name, for those who don’t know me is Anastacia and the entirety of my life, prior to my wedding day in 2009, was based on performing arts. Naturally this included a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but since the age of 5, performing arts was my reality. I lived every day to be able to perform and bask in the world of the creative and untamed but it wasn’t until my marriage of four years, that I truly discovered my biggest passion, and no, for those who know me, funnily enough it wasn’t dancing, it was writing!
In lieu of this slight introduction, I would like you to join me on a journey and experience one of my favourite poems. You may ask, “Why this one specifically”, and you are quite right in doing just that. This poem is the first of it’s kind, where I wrote on behalf of my male form. It is also a very relevant experience that myself and many of my Queens have experienced in the world of relationships, dating, etc.
I hope in some way you can relate. Until our next encounter.
Forgive me, I Lie
“I lie to you because, in this moment, I would rather see you smile than wipe the tears from your eyes.
I would rather make you believe the lie than see your heart break in a million pieces knowing that I am the cause.
I will tell you ” I’m out with my friends” when in actual fact I am buried deep inside someone else’s conversation.
I will tell you “you’re the only one” knowing that you’ll never truly be MY only one.
I will tell you “my phone was on silent”, when I chose to ignore your call.
I will tell you “I’m at a meeting” when I’m actually at dinner with a potential new recruit.
I will tell you “I’m busy but” all I’m doing
Is expanding my horizons.
I will tell you, It depends on my availability, when I actually mean that you’re not my only option.
I choose to be alone at times but when you ask fabricate a lie because lord forbid you ask to join me on my day off.
I say I want one person to be with when I actually mean that I want one person the world knows of and as many dirty little secrets as my heart desires.
For I was born to go forth and multiply. In lifetimes gone by, I was allowed Harems, Queens and mistresses simultaneously. This has been my nature, so how can you expect
Me to go against what I was designed to be?
I tell you this because… I don’t want to hurt you but I’ll use you if you let me.”
By Anastacia Candice Julie