People hardly ever tell you what they think or how they feel about you but they will certainly show you. I’ve always been more of a ‘doer’ myself and yet not everyone expresses or loves the way you do.
In most of my previous posts I referred to being married and subsequently divorced. I quite honestly, since a young age, believed that there were no men worthy of my time or that would be able to handle all of me. I always thought that I would need to make myself smaller in order to find a partner. Growing up I was conditioned to believe, through various experiences, that I was too much, that I needed to tone down, that I was too strong and that I needed to be more approachable and less independent so that men wouldn’t be so intimidated by me and basically I ended up trying to make myself smaller.
It is no surprise that this thinking lead me into marriage and subsequent divorce. I soon discovered that trying to change who I am to please other people and fit into a mould created by society would not make me happy and that all I needed to do, was allow myself to be who I am unapologetically. I took time out after my divorce and focused on discovering who I am and most importantly, to become the being I would want to date and after 3 years I can honestly say that I found a being worthy of my time. Good men still exist and I have been blessed to meet someone who supports me through all my crazy, my mood swings, my feisty independent nature, my frivolous and tumultuous moments and my passionately fierce persona. So to all my Queens out there, be still and know that Males of Worth do exist and yes, sometimes we don’t notice them because they don’t love us the way we expect them to or in the way that we would love, but that doesn’t mean that they love us any less. Take note of how they treat you and appreciate their efforts, sometimes we are unaware of the battles and demons they fight within themselves daily.
This is just a little snippet, in my case, of how I know I am his person. I hope that this piece will make you stop and think about how the significant others in your lives add to your happiness in ways and means you have never thought of before. Thank them, they need to be loved and acknowledged even more than we do because no one ever tells us what males need emotionally, only physically, but that isn’t the only way they are driven. Good men are emotionally intelligent as well and need more than just our physicality, they need our nakedsoul, they need our friendship, they need to know that we won’t walk away when they eventually have the courage to show us the darkest parts of themselves, but that we can shine a light on those parts and help them find their way again.
Until our next encounter, enjoy!
“That moment when you wake up and catch him staring at you while you sleep,
When he gets out of bed to fetch you from home and deliver you to your next appointment, so you don’t have to catch a cab,
When you’re mid conversation and catch him staring at you with a look of awe on his face,
When he doesn’t let you cook or clean because he wants you to relax and take a load off because you’re bringing home the bacon,
When he acts like a crazy person or a jester because he upset you and he wants to make up for it by making you laugh,
When your body hurts from work and he offers to give you a massage, feed you and put you to bed whilst holding your hand as you fall asleep,
When he gets up after being up for two days straight and surprises you with a picnic after a two hour drive because you had endured a disappointment and he wanted to see you smile,
When he takes you everywhere and introduces you to everyone because he wants you to feel a part of his life,
When you’re in a crowded room and you both somehow gravitate towards each other and he lightly strokes your waist or kisses you in the neck to remind you that he hasn’t forgotten about you,
When he posts a photo of you on social media that you sent him in private because he is so proud to show that you are his,
When he sees you for the first time and gives you a smile that tugs your heartstrings,
It’s finding someone who is willing to accept you as you are and tries to add to your happiness in the small things they do yet prepared to stay through the worst of it. It’s loving someone in the good and reminding them how to love during the bad.
People can only show their love for us in the way they have been taught, that doesn’t mean they love us any less. In order to be loved the way you need, you must be prepared to teach them how to love you but never overlook their love for you.”
by Anastacia Candice Julie