“Just an ordinary girl, capable of extraordinary things”, is what I’ve said until I realised that the extraordinary doesn’t just happen, it is simply a choice, consistently executed on a daily basis that produces what most believe unattainable.
“You are what you repeatedly do” is something I grew up with. I am the eldest of three and everyone will say, the feistiest by far. I was raised in an era where females were not given the same opportunities as men and if we wanted to compete, we needed to have the mental capacity to do so. Showing up simply wasn’t enough and beauty was never a weapon I was interested in using. My mind needed to be sharper than a two edged sword, so I ensured that I fed and cultivated it on a daily basis.
My dad raised me as he would a son because he understood the very real disadvantage we have, being born as women into a man’s world, and needed me to be prepared for everything that life would throw my way. I can never repay him for this, it was the best thing my parents could ever do for me, not realising the type of life I would live.
My parents wanted to ensure that I had an independent mind and could always make a decision that was best for me, but, more importantly, ensure that I could remove the emotion out of the situation in order to achieve the best result possible for myself. This one thing, (trust me, he taught me many pebbles of wisdom) truly helped me climb the ranks of anything I ever wanted to achieve. It’s also part of the reason I have always been so driven, in every aspect of my life. I wouldn’t say I wanted to be better, I just simply wanted to compete and I didn’t ever want sex to be a deterrent. I desired equality, I didn’t believe women were less than or victims. So, my drive, my love, my cheeky and quick tongue has carried me through and taught me what real strength and courage is. I have always been unapologetic about who I am and what I believe and I simply wasn’t prepared to accept a world where equality didn’t exist.
My story can only be exactly what it is, a combination of experiences most will believe impossible for one person. A performer since 5 years old, a traveller by nature. I never stayed in one place long enough to be claimed by any area or group of people. My experiences taught me the very real truth of having faith and believing in a higher power. God has been there with me through it all. I truly don’t think I would have lived this long, had I not believed that my life was meant to be lived with purpose and if he hadn’t continuously saved me from perilous situations.
I have always been someone who stood her ground, even if I had to cry or stand there shaking, but being true to myself has been a principle I have lived by whole-heartedly in every aspect. Authenticity, affecting change in this world and assisting people to see their true potential are the fundamental principles that keep me grounded. My desire for authenticity and my truth is incomparable and something that I simply will never give up. All I ever wanted for myself is to live in a space where I am truly happy, regardless of society’s expectations. This is an important note, as you will see my struggles as a young woman, emerging through my books. I had to learn this truth, it wasn’t easy but I persevered.
The concept of me being an author is something that I envisioned as a 15-year-old, writing a composition in the school hall. It is a dream, two decades in the making and it has finally arrived.
The book itself is about the incredible versions of love I have experienced in my romantic life, each of them bringing forth different lessons. There were lessons learnt purely as a woman, and then lessons about relationships and men. It is very important my readers understand that I am a fully heterosexual woman, and I love men. However, I am also a feminist, and equality in every aspect, for both men and women, will always be at the centre of my being.
My Almost-Loves, is a collection of pieces revealing the devastation of a woman, married and divorced in her twenties, the turmoil experienced dating again in her early 30s, followed by another tumultuous breakup with an almost-husband.
It’s about the moments of confusion and exasperation endured in a world where hook-ups are the norm, monogamous love is almost extinct and where uncertainty greets you like an old friend.
My Almost-Loves, is a book about the male suitors I thought were worthy of my affection and love, but instead of adding to me, ripped me apart, leaving me devastated and insecure. It’s the first book of the trilogy, revealing the moments in which I lost myself over and over to what I thought was a love destined for a lifetime.
